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These* frighteningly Christian loons have it all figured out! The endtimes, are, in fact now, and it is possible to determine who will be the architect of this horrible fate through assigning simple numerical values to letters in the English alphabet.
After playing around with this stupid thing for a while, I have detemined beyond any doubt that I am, in fact, the antichrist.
My last name, von Müller, comes to 666. My first and last initial combined with my whole mdidle name (M. Thomas V.) comes to 666. Sholomon, another alias I go by on the Internet, comes to 666. U.S. of America, the country of my birth, comes to 666. M.T.V., my initials, come to 330, the same value as Satan.
Kalagast, my most common alias, comes to 432, the same value as Hitler himself (and, since these guys are all neurotic Christians who more than likely believe Islam to be an evil religion, I may as well add that Mohammed also shares this value).
Kalugast, an alternate spelling I use of the above alias, comes to 552, the same value as both Napoleon and Bonaparte.
I also determined that, if I have roughly ten million indications that I'm the antichrist, there's a good chance every other living person does as well. So, just for fun, post as many indicators as you can find that you will be the one responsible for the end of the world.
*Be warned, when clicking on this link, you must first brave their cunning security password system, arguably more amusing that the site it conceals, in order to access the hidden stores of knowledge within! Also, I haven't been here in roughly two years, so to any new members, I was known to post random crap like this that few other people would find amusing all the time. It's not meant to be taken seriously.
Let's form a legion of Antichrists!
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#1
Shadow of the Sun 
- Pokey Egyptians Couldn't Do Shit
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- Group: Kukai Foundation
- Posts: 1,395
- Joined: 26-August 02
Posted 15 May 2005 - 08:28 PM
In my fury, I uttered the lines which have kicked off every religious schism in history: "Screw you, my lord! I'm forming my own church to worship you!"
MultiQuote
#4
Maggie Rennie
- Locke, Skivvie Us
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- Group: Espers
- Posts: 12,695
- Joined: 30-July 02
Posted 15 May 2005 - 09:29 PM
Are these people unaware that numerology is the work of the devil?
This post has been edited by Maggie Rennie: 15 May 2005 - 09:31 PM
~Maggie
Heaven is a place where all the lovers are French, the chefs are Italian, the mechanics are German, the police are British, and it's all organized by the Swiss.
Hell is a place where all the lovers are Swiss, the chefs are British, the mechanics are French, the police are German, and it's all organized by the Italians.
~The Internet
Avatar art by WingedHeart
Heaven is a place where all the lovers are French, the chefs are Italian, the mechanics are German, the police are British, and it's all organized by the Swiss.
Hell is a place where all the lovers are Swiss, the chefs are British, the mechanics are French, the police are German, and it's all organized by the Italians.
~The Internet
Avatar art by WingedHeart
#5
Seifersythe
- The Stampede
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- Group: Howling Voice Guild
- Posts: 3,388
- Joined: 30-August 02
Posted 15 May 2005 - 09:39 PM
Quote
What is promoted in the name of free speech using our tax dollars, is really an open door into Satanism for our youngsters.
*bangs ahead againts keyboard, then proceeds to shove head in oven*
Thanks Chick! People like you make me ashamed of my religion! I'd kill myself in shame, but then I'd go to hell.
This is good, isn't it?
Here's to you
#6
altarius
- Unthawed Freeloader
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- Group: Radical Dreamers
- Posts: 103
- Joined: 15-May 05
Posted 15 May 2005 - 10:01 PM
What is the point of all this? Does it make you feel better knowing that each proof of your being the antichrist means you may be the one responsible for leading millions astray to a path with no return plan? These kinds of disregard for religion are sickening, and I ask that if you have complaints about religion and those who have beliefs, PLEASE keep them to yourself. The world is messed up enough without people claiming to be the future source of it's ruin.
The Broken Keyblade Wielder
"I should not drink three quarts of blue food coloring before a urine test.
Nor should I drink three quarts of red food coloring, and scream during the same.
Must not use military vehicles to 'squish' things.
A smiley face is not used to mark a minefield.
'Napalm sticks to kids' is *not* a motivational phrase.
Should not tell Non-Commissioned Officers that their razorbumps are the result of microscopic parasites."
-SPC Schwarz
"I should not drink three quarts of blue food coloring before a urine test.
Nor should I drink three quarts of red food coloring, and scream during the same.
Must not use military vehicles to 'squish' things.
A smiley face is not used to mark a minefield.
'Napalm sticks to kids' is *not* a motivational phrase.
Should not tell Non-Commissioned Officers that their razorbumps are the result of microscopic parasites."
-SPC Schwarz
#7
Maggie Rennie
- Locke, Skivvie Us
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- Group: Espers
- Posts: 12,695
- Joined: 30-July 02
Posted 15 May 2005 - 10:09 PM
The point is to show that assigning random numbers to people's names is idiotic and that you can use it to make a case for anyone being evil or satanic or whatever. No, he is not claiming to be Satan. The last sentence of his post should have clued you in to that.
Also, and I mean this kindly, if you really need people to keep religious criticisms to themselves, you really might be in the wrong place for that. People here tend to express themselves pretty freely.
Also, and I mean this kindly, if you really need people to keep religious criticisms to themselves, you really might be in the wrong place for that. People here tend to express themselves pretty freely.
~Maggie
Heaven is a place where all the lovers are French, the chefs are Italian, the mechanics are German, the police are British, and it's all organized by the Swiss.
Hell is a place where all the lovers are Swiss, the chefs are British, the mechanics are French, the police are German, and it's all organized by the Italians.
~The Internet
Avatar art by WingedHeart
Heaven is a place where all the lovers are French, the chefs are Italian, the mechanics are German, the police are British, and it's all organized by the Swiss.
Hell is a place where all the lovers are Swiss, the chefs are British, the mechanics are French, the police are German, and it's all organized by the Italians.
~The Internet
Avatar art by WingedHeart
#8
Quinctia
- I love Buddha. Don't you?
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- Group: The Turks
- Posts: 5,836
- Joined: 30-July 02
Posted 15 May 2005 - 11:18 PM
Quote
The world is messed up enough without people claiming to be the future source of it's ruin.
If you're taking them seriously, you have bigger problems to worry about than who's posting what on an Internet message board.
#9
Nameless Pete
- He's Feelin' Hella Good
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- Group: The Turks
- Posts: 1,349
- Joined: 14-April 04
Posted 16 May 2005 - 12:36 AM
"Pete Ivans" comes out to 666. So does "Hat/Glasses" and "Samesian Beard." Eat it, suckas!
#11
Black Angel
- Ought to give Iowa a TRYYYYYYYYYYY~
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- Group: Espers
- Posts: 1,693
- Joined: 25-February 03
Posted 16 May 2005 - 03:19 AM
Well, nothing I can come up with regarding me comes out to 666 -- or any other evil number I know of -- so I guess I'm safe from the Evil One's influence. Even though my username might suggest otherwise.
Amusingly, my username and my hometown both come out to 408. Coincidence? I think...not.
Amusingly, my username and my hometown both come out to 408. Coincidence? I think...not.
#14
Sequel
- Second in a Trilogy
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- Group: Happy-Happyists
- Posts: 1,196
- Joined: 20-July 03
Posted 16 May 2005 - 08:28 AM
474-The Mark of Sequel
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Okay, I'm bored.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Okay, I'm bored.
"Aerodynamically, the bumble bee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumble bee doesn't know it so it goes on flying anyway."
-Mary Kay Ash
Oh, my twitchy, witchy girl
I think you are so nice
I give you bowls of porridge
And I give you bowls of ice... cream
-Mary Kay Ash
Oh, my twitchy, witchy girl
I think you are so nice
I give you bowls of porridge
And I give you bowls of ice... cream
#15
NeoKefka
- Tastes Like Pure Evil
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- Group: Howling Voice Guild
- Posts: 1,573
- Joined: 03-September 02
Posted 16 May 2005 - 08:45 AM
James William Smiley - 1260
William Smiley - 972
James Smiley - 786
Bill Smiley - 708
J W Smiley - 696
J William S - 648
DENIED!
William Smiley - 972
James Smiley - 786
Bill Smiley - 708
J W Smiley - 696
J William S - 648
DENIED!
- My Live Journal -
You say this as if the continued production of Uwe Boll films isn't an integral part of the survival of the human species. Notice that before HOUSE OF THE DEAD: Hitler. After HOUSE OF THE DEAD: No more Hitler. Coincidence? - Keith Allison, Teleport City
"You have to remember, in the entire history of the universe, you're the only you that has ever existed. Only you see the world the way you see the world. We want to know how you see it. It might be so beautiful, so different, that it changes everything." - Grant Morrison
#16
The Cow
- BeLicious St. Coxx
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- Group: Radical Dreamers
- Posts: 3,736
- Joined: 30-July 02
Posted 16 May 2005 - 10:07 AM
I HAVE YOU NOW, IMMORTAL FOE
ZOMBIE LOADED CRUISE MISSLE: ARMED
TARGET DESIGNATED...SMILEY, JAMES WILLIAM
ZOMBIE LOADED CRUISE MISSLE: ARMED
TARGET DESIGNATED...SMILEY, JAMES WILLIAM
"Language is a cracked kettle on which we beat out tunes for bears to dance to, while all the time we long to move the stars to pity." - Gustave Flaubert
#17
NeoKefka
- Tastes Like Pure Evil
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- Group: Howling Voice Guild
- Posts: 1,573
- Joined: 03-September 02
Posted 16 May 2005 - 12:34 PM
*Steps to the left at the last moment. The cruise missle goes screaming past NK and into a contraption specifically designed to capture and contain Zombie Loaded Cruise Missles*
Your move, old bean.
*snooty British laughter*
Your move, old bean.
*snooty British laughter*
- My Live Journal -
You say this as if the continued production of Uwe Boll films isn't an integral part of the survival of the human species. Notice that before HOUSE OF THE DEAD: Hitler. After HOUSE OF THE DEAD: No more Hitler. Coincidence? - Keith Allison, Teleport City
"You have to remember, in the entire history of the universe, you're the only you that has ever existed. Only you see the world the way you see the world. We want to know how you see it. It might be so beautiful, so different, that it changes everything." - Grant Morrison
#18
Gust
- Stylish and cheap!
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- Group: Radical Dreamers
- Posts: 4,203
- Joined: 31-July 02
Posted 16 May 2005 - 01:46 PM
altarius, on May 16 2005, 04:01 AM, said:
What is the point of all this? Does it make you feel better knowing that each proof of your being the antichrist means you may be the one responsible for leading millions astray to a path with no return plan? These kinds of disregard for religion are sickening, and I ask that if you have complaints about religion and those who have beliefs, PLEASE keep them to yourself. The world is messed up enough without people claiming to be the future source of it's ruin.
As a practitioner of the Satanic faith*, I take offense at your offense. It's great that you believe what you do and whatever, but if you could please keep it to yourself that'd be great.
*I know, I'm so full of crap. I basically just want to mess with this kid.
#19
Lia Strife
- When I see Izlude, I get a Tingel.
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- Group: Lunarians
- Posts: 2,246
- Joined: 03-August 02
Posted 16 May 2005 - 09:46 PM
altarius, on May 15 2005, 10:01 PM, said:
What is the point of all this? Does it make you feel better knowing that each proof of your being the antichrist means you may be the one responsible for leading millions astray to a path with no return plan? These kinds of disregard for religion are sickening, and I ask that if you have complaints about religion and those who have beliefs, PLEASE keep them to yourself. The world is messed up enough without people claiming to be the future source of it's ruin.
...Oh my God. This kid is so right.
I-I just need to come to grips with the fact that I was obviously switched with the antichrist at birth, that all my years of training have been for nothing. Aziraphale and Crowley will never visit me. I'm...I'm not the fictional destroyer of the world.
I just...I need a moment alone.
"Only those close to the top are rewarded without trying. It's the way of the world. Most people have to act the roles given to them...then again, most of them haven't even noticed they're acting."
Delita Hyral
Delita Hyral
#20
McNally
- WE CAME TO FIGHT
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- Group: Happy-Happyists
- Posts: 6,079
- Joined: 25-July 02
Posted 16 May 2005 - 09:55 PM
altarius, on May 15 2005, 10:01 PM, said:
What is the point of all this? Does it make you feel better knowing that each proof of your being the antichrist means you may be the one responsible for leading millions astray to a path with no return plan? These kinds of disregard for religion are sickening, and I ask that if you have complaints about religion and those who have beliefs, PLEASE keep them to yourself. The world is messed up enough without people claiming to be the future source of it's ruin.
I agree! Under no circumstance should anyone EVER say ANYTHING that makes ANYBODY else the SLIGHTEST bit uncomfortable.
Besides, everybody knows that humor isn't funny.
People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because
Support the Troops! Except, y'know, in a tangible way for once.
#22
Shadolite
- Unthawed Freeloader
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- Group: Mystics
- Posts: 18
- Joined: 15-May 05
Posted 17 May 2005 - 05:15 PM
altarius, on May 15 2005, 10:01 PM, said:
The world is messed up enough without people claiming to be the future source of it's ruin.
I disagree. It could be a lot more messed up than it is now. Just think, we could all be having loads of fun sodomizing in sin, raping and screwing each other like rabid bunnies. ^_^
I'm gonna have to go with Quinctia on this one...I Love Sex=666
^_^
#23
NeoKefka
- Tastes Like Pure Evil
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- Group: Howling Voice Guild
- Posts: 1,573
- Joined: 03-September 02
Posted 17 May 2005 - 05:57 PM
Buttsex = 666
Well, it's official. Homosexuals are doing the work of the devil.
Well, it's official. Homosexuals are doing the work of the devil.
- My Live Journal -
You say this as if the continued production of Uwe Boll films isn't an integral part of the survival of the human species. Notice that before HOUSE OF THE DEAD: Hitler. After HOUSE OF THE DEAD: No more Hitler. Coincidence? - Keith Allison, Teleport City
"You have to remember, in the entire history of the universe, you're the only you that has ever existed. Only you see the world the way you see the world. We want to know how you see it. It might be so beautiful, so different, that it changes everything." - Grant Morrison
#24
Crystal Zeal
- Like...some kind of art pirate or something
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- Group: Radical Dreamers
- Posts: 3,506
- Joined: 05-November 02
Posted 17 May 2005 - 06:25 PM
Is 180 have any significant meaning?
~Crystal Zeal
"Am I a butterfly dreaming I'm a man? Or a bowling ball dreaming I'm a plate of sashimi? Never assume that what you see and feel is real!"
Angahith: I'm sorry, i was too busy downloading porn. D:
Myshu: And this is why men lose internet arguments.
Listen to me LIVE, every Wednesday 10am-12pm EST! http://www.smith.edu/wozq
Sax has recruited his enforcers from diverse walks of life, like some sort of twisted street preacher, a hellish prophet gathering a murderous flock about him. He found CuteLucca jabbing a tattoo drill bit into a wily Mexican druglord's eye. He found CrystalZeal in a graveyard in New Orleans, working an obscure voodoo curse upon the bones of some long dead forgotten man. Seif used to be a plastic surgeon, in another world.
"Am I a butterfly dreaming I'm a man? Or a bowling ball dreaming I'm a plate of sashimi? Never assume that what you see and feel is real!"
Angahith: I'm sorry, i was too busy downloading porn. D:
Myshu: And this is why men lose internet arguments.
Listen to me LIVE, every Wednesday 10am-12pm EST! http://www.smith.edu/wozq
Quote
#25
Maggie Rennie
- Locke, Skivvie Us
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- Group: Espers
- Posts: 12,695
- Joined: 30-July 02
Posted 17 May 2005 - 07:05 PM
What a radical turnaround.
~Maggie
Heaven is a place where all the lovers are French, the chefs are Italian, the mechanics are German, the police are British, and it's all organized by the Swiss.
Hell is a place where all the lovers are Swiss, the chefs are British, the mechanics are French, the police are German, and it's all organized by the Italians.
~The Internet
Avatar art by WingedHeart
Heaven is a place where all the lovers are French, the chefs are Italian, the mechanics are German, the police are British, and it's all organized by the Swiss.
Hell is a place where all the lovers are Swiss, the chefs are British, the mechanics are French, the police are German, and it's all organized by the Italians.
~The Internet
Avatar art by WingedHeart